Again I find myself sitting at my computer being unable to get anything onto paper (digital paper). I re looked at my chapter plan after thinking I couldn’t do it and then realised “I’ve done all this reading before”!!!!
I revisited both of my progression points and yes…there it was, all the reading I’d started when beginning this journey. So having copied and pasted this into the relevant areas it’s not looking so daunting any more. I do need to revisit each of these like I did within the literature review and add some depth, but also within the literature review situate myself and how I am working and how it is different to what others have done before me.
So this afternoon and the next few days I will be doing this. I must try and stay at it. I find it so hard to sit still whilst reading and think of so many other jobs to do! I think I’ll be ok….after lunch 🙂
I know it’s only a draft, but I eventually got into it. Basically I needed to get my head out of the scientific approach I was trying to take and make it much more personal, which I feel like i have. It was about re ordering information I’d started to gather. I’ve started to identify holes in my reading so will need to start to fill these as time goes on.
Yesterday and today I’ve been in the gallery manning the show which has been both tiring and exciting, but overall freezing!
I’ve been able to sit and reconnect with the work I made and have begun to talk about it with people who come into the gallery and ask their thoughts and opinions. I’ve been approached about a potential new show that would expand on particular stories and pieces which would help with the deep analysis for my PhD. It’s been quite exciting to think about focussing on one piece of the collection.
The same piece was discussed in depth at the WI talk I did this week too (see WI post).
Better hold onto the plinths after all!
So I’ve been struggling. Quite a lot. Trying to get my head round the fact that I am writing up my PhD. It’s all my work and I need to be the person to do it! My skills lie in the making side of things so I always feel like I struggle with the written elements. I’ve been doing a bit of self reflection and realise how much I used to like writing. I also realise I need to give myself time to do it and sit down, when I’m not tired or grumpy and get into it. I need to do it the way I think it needs doing, not other ways that I am told. Someone said that it’s me that has to defend my PhD in my viva and they are right so what I write needs to be what I believe.
So that’s what I’m going to do…
I was so nervous and excited on Saturday. Having set up all the work and felt it looked OK it was now down to the public to judge. My first conversation was with a lady who had taken one of my booklets. She seemed to be someone who had visited a lot of gallery spaces and also suggested I try the Ropewalk gallery in Hull for an exhibition, which I presumed meant she liked my work! She said she found it very evocative and detailed. It fit together well in the space and showed the pieces off well.
I had invited a number of participants and some of the craftspeople that had worked with me on the items, either telling stories or passing on information and they ALL turned up! I was so happy! It was quite the challenge to talk to everyone, but I managed to get to speak to everyone who had come to see the show. A number of the participants came and spoke to me. One participant said how evocative the object was and enjoyed reading the quote. She commented it was ectoplasmic and had a very spiritual experience. She felt very happy to have been part of the work. Another read the quotes and thought that one of the other participants quotes belonged to her. She was surprised at the overlap of people’s memories. She said she felt very posh waling round an art gallery and having a glass of wine and being part of it.
The craftspeople were really happy to see the work. They commented how beautiful it looked when the pieces were displayed in the setting. One of the craftsmen had his picture taken next to the work he had helped me with. He asked when I was coming back to learn more forging skills!
The two hours went so quickly, I had so many visitors including a friend who had travelled from London to surprise me. It was a very humbling and overwhelming experience to see so many of my friends from different parts of my life looking at my work. I think if I hadn’t have been ill it could have been more emotional as I was so pleased that people had come to see it. I think because I was a bit tired it all just happened and then afterwards at home I began to process it. I felt a bit sad I couldn’t have spent longer talking to people, but what it did show me was how many people I have met and made friends with over the space of the making part of the project. Over half the people who came, I didn’t know before this started…and I have already organised to see a lot of them again on a level of friendship that has been built due to their storytelling or crafts skills they have passed on.
This week has been hard and a learning curve, but then exciting and exhausting all in one!
I was going to write one long post about this all, but felt two would be more appropriate to explain a few things and my absence.
It was my first week back at work after a months hiatus because of illness. An illness that was unexpected and sudden and will affect me now forever, which has/is hard to come to term with as I always have been so active. Basically I felt like I was getting ill and then started turning yellow. I had a week of travelling everyday to and from the hospital as I got yellower and yellower and more tired and sickly. Finally on the Thursday my levels were so high they had to keep me in.
After scans and blood tests they found I had an inflamed liver, then that it wasn’t functioning and I had a biopsy. After probably close to 100 blood tests they resolved that I have an auto immune condition that attacks the livers bile ducts so they can’t function. It’s called Primary Bilary Cholongitis….! They are still very puzzled, as am I as to what has caused it.
So thank my lucky stars I am one of these over organised people and had already sorted out the vinyl and got it cut, ordered and had had the plastic display cases delivered and begun preparing the exhibition booklet and fliers. The very kind technicians at work cut my bases for the boxes and others came in to help with the installation.
The condition I have has left me with bad fatigue, which to a busy body is very frustrating! I hate not doing anything and not feeling like doing anything is even worse. I can’t even read anything by any means technical as it just doesn’t go in! I have had some great helpers this week, sorting the vinyl and helping me with the installation, painting boards, printing booklets and I am so happy to have had their help.
It was a lot more straight forward than I’d planned. I drew all the space up in Google Sketch Up before installation to check it would fit and how it would look, but when I was in the space it was just a matter of looking and changing until it FELT right. Again this has been a theme throughout my making process and for it to follow through to the curation was a fitting surprise.
The quotes were all spaced out and didn’t relate to their specific object, more free form for people to read and consider. The objects then stood in their own space to represent their story tellers and commanded their area, but worked well together as a group. I was so pleased with it but also surprised at how good it actually looked! I am so glad these pieces that are so familiar to me now get to be seen by so many other people who will hopefully engage with their own story that is triggered by someone else memory.
I have a bit of updating to do, so there will be a few retrospective posts in a little while, however just wanted to get it out there that my exhibtion at Dean Clough in Halifax is finally happening on the 21st of July! Private view between 12-2pm. Please come along if you would like to!
Thank you to everyone who has helped me get this together, esp Kathryn Brennand, for running me about, organising vinyl cutting and just generally being amazing at this! We’ve got a tough week ahead setting up, but looking forward to the end result and unveiling on saturday!